When I lived in Germany, the natives would tell me, “Amerikaner sind zwar freundlich aber so oberflächlich. Americans are friendly, though so superficial.”
They didn’t like how Americans would say, “You’ve got to come over for a barbecue.” Or…
“We’ll have to go to the movies together soon.” or…
“Let’s get together sometime for coffee.”
And it bothered the Germans that nothing would come of the vague invitation. In the American culture, people often utter such phrases as casually as dipping chips in guacamole. Such thrown-in sweet nothings without about as much weight as a paper plate.
When Germans say something about inviting you over for a barbecue, except they would call it a Grillparty, they set a date and time for you to come over. As a culture, they tend to take friendships and budding acquaintanceships seriously.
The Seattle Freeze, Seattle Ice, Seattle Nice?
Here in Seattle, there’s a phenomenon called the Seattle Freeze. It’s also known as the Seattle Ice- According to Urban Dictionary, it “refers to the ‘friendliness’ of Seattleites (Seattle Ice), who think they are all liberal and free-thinking, but have sticks up their a**** and venomously hate you if you think differently than them.”
As for me, I’ve found people in Seattle to be friendly, or as some people call it Seattle “Nice”. I don’t bother with people who act like they’re the frozen chosen. If someone is distant and acts like they don’t want to be your friend, why waste your time?
There’s even a flakiness here in the Pacific Northwest referred to as the Seattle Out. Here’s an example from the Urban Dictionary:
Mark: “I think she Seattled out.”
And that brings us back to the very beginning…
So many people run around these days busy being busy, and they think that they don’t have time for anything, even though they play Candy Crush and languish on Facebook nonstop. Hey, if you’re NOT DEAD, you are busy! That’s just how it is.
At church not long ago a visiting pastor shared about the power of fellowship and how important it is to spend time with others, invite people over for dinner, and make a point to do so. I thought of a family who we’ve been meaning to get together with for a long time now. I texted the mom and said that we’d like to get together in the next few weeks, and we set a time and date. Voila! It wasn’t hard. And we didn’t need to defrost any Seattle Freeze.
They came over for dinner yesterday, my hubby Kevin grilled tri-tip, and we had a great time and got to know the family more.
If you think of someone, and how you’d like to see them- why not give them a call or send them a quick text to set a specific TIME to get together? Set a time and place for that coffee. Put it on your calendar, and leave room for the spontaneous. Or if someone says, “Let’s get together soon,” how about asking them to set a time?
If you’re driving around town picking up drycleaning, dropping off packages, and running to the grocery store, grab a friend to go with you as an errands buddy. It turns the mundane into the fun-dane! (Ok, that was super cheesy).
Have an awesome day!